Vulnerability inside BRAVE Challenge with Lisa Fischer
Lisa Fischer is our first guest speaker on the BRAVE CHALLENGE – our free challenge to ignite your fire and commit to your skill. Lisa is an Emmy award singer vocalist. She has toured the world with legends like Tina Turner, Luther Vandross, the Rolling Stones, and is now focusing on her solo career after her appearance on 20 Feet from Stardom, touching hearts all over the world. As amazing as her voice is, that is not what is most amazing about Lisa Fischer. Her spirit and her heart are so brilliant and good, and this human being was our Guest Speaker this week. We are truly honored!
If you were not able to watch the live, I encourage you to do so. For those of you who do not have Instagram, we uploaded the video below so you can hear not only all of WHAT Lisa said but also HOW she said it.
Lisa opened up my flood gates. I hope you experience the same.
Everyone has a gift. And there are levels of services.
Around 6:10 in the video was the first wisdom bomb she dropped on me. We began our chat giving everyone a little background on how we met and what we thought and think of one another. She commended me for how I handled the Tina Turner tour, being so young and how I came in quiet, observing everything. I told her how I felt I was surrounded by mega stars and I was definitely the small fish in the pond. Which is when she pointed out how it’s interesting humans like to put things and people in levels. Wow. And how we never know how these people we put on a petal-stool actually feel about themselves. Double wow.
How do you look at Bravery and Courage?
I wanted to hear if and how she separated the two. This is around 8:30 in the video.
“When it comes to being brave, there is a weight of doing something you haven’t done before. So you kind of have to have a brave heart about it.
Courage is more from scars, for me. You’re holding on to that hurt, but that’s a choice right? Yeah, there might be a scar, but that’s an old scar. Don’t keep picking at it.”
She enocurages us to take note of it and move on, because “There will be many” other scars.
“And those scars will hopefully force your hand into saying ‘OK, am I going to face this? Am I going to have the courage?
And be tired, almost, of picking at a scar.”
I don’t believe a select few are brave and the rest just have to learn to be courageous. I believe you have areas of your life where you are brave, and other areas where it are courageous- areas that take a conscious choice to press forward and face what is in front of you. Some areas feel effortless, thoughtless, and fearless (areas of bravery). Others not at all (areas of courage).
Around 11:20 in the video she shared a story about a gun-point robery she was a victim of along with her dear friend. She recalled how instinctively she positioned her body to where if the robber shot at them, it would get her instead of her friend.
After the robbery she recalled she was trembling and thoughts rushed in. But placing her body in front of her friend took no rational thought process, and there was no real fear involved in making that decision. It was an instinct. That, ladies and gentlemen, is bravery.
(Bravery) points you, shows you what’s in your heart in that particular moment.
Can you recognize bravery and courage in others? Probably much easier than recognizing them in yourself. Lisa said,
“We will make those kind of choices (of being courageous) for other people, no problem. But when it comes down for making those kind of choices for yourself…”
And I agree.
How do you look at Vulnerability?
Around 19:45 in the video, Lisa continues dropping the wisdom bombs in her soothing and souring voice:
“I feel like vulnerability is like a mirror and it has 2 sides, 2 existences.
When i look in the mirror and i look at myself, I pick myself hard. Because I don’t look like I did a billion yesterdays ago. We are always trying to hold on to what was because we feel like we need some kind of security. And it’s difficult to shift your mind to accept the changes that are coming.
We will all physically leave this realm. That’s inevitable. Instead of trying to hold on (to what was), … I’m also trying to balance more this moment now.”
She talks about how she tells everyone she’s one year older so she can transition into that when it’s a reality much smoother.
“Something about knowing what’s coming and being aware of that, and not staying in the ‘well I’m gonna die so it doesn’t really matter’. No! Everything matters. It’s just the beginning and ends.“
“The opposite side of the vulnerability is what people think about you. the weight of other people’s thoughts. Anytime that we are auditioning, or we are offering ourselves and services , it’s like you’re thinking ‘Am i gonna be what they need? Am i enough?’ And that’s huge because…
When I’m alone I feel like I am enough for me.
The question marks come up when i feel like i have to put myself on the chopping block, and give people the opportunity to pick me apart. That’s being really vulnerable.
But the one thing that saves me is I know deep in my soul that there’s only one me.
There’s only one you.
Each individual has a unique fingerprint on the planet. and I have to believe that where I’m supposed to be I will be.”
This is where I lost it. Maybe you are reading this and completely relate to Lisa. You believe “I am enough” when you’re alone, and then you question it when you are around others. Or maybe you don’t even believe that when you are on your own. Or maybe you only believe it when you around people who remind you of this truth constantly. I get emotional when I think of this. We need to believe that we are unique. We need to believe that we are enough. We need to believe we are not meant to be copies and that we are not everyone’s solution, either. We need to believe it every day. Every hour. Every minute and second.
There were SO MANY parts of this chat with Lisa that were my favorites. But this next statement she made is tattooed in my heart and memory forever:
“And how do we get to the point of really believing it?
And is it gonna stay forever?
I think it’s like food, like a flower that needs water. It’s nourishment. The belief is a nourishment. The believing is an action word to me that constantly has to keep coming, keep coming.
I think we need to look at believing in ourselves as something that is a meal that we have to eat everyday and often.
Because it fades.”
“Vulnerability has served me as far as parsing out my time because I want to be able to touch as many people as possible, but protect myself, too.” She shared that vulnerability taught her YOU are NOT the answer for everyone. And that’s very freeing.
“The lesson for me is trying to decide prior to opening myself up what is safe. At the end of the day it is about self preservation so you CAN connect and be there for the people you love and for yourself. But there is this voice that goes ‘Mmmm, I don’t know about this one.’ And then there are other times where you don’t feel unsafe.”
I shared, “We think human’s #1 priority is to be happy, but it’s actually to feel safe. You wouldn’t, in my opinion, you wouldn’t know the difference unless your practice vulnerability. You wouldnt’ know this group of people is who you throw your energy and your whole self to, and this group over here not so much. And then there’s that school of thought ‘be your authentic self to anyone and everyone and just don’t take things personally.
Unless we open up, unless we show our authentic self, we will never know tho those people are. If we are all hiding…”
Lisa laughs and adds “…then what’s the point?“
Yes, what is the point?
Lisa is trying to let go of the need to be perfect. She recalls watching a colleague perform and he made a mistake during his show. He played the wrong thing and went down a road he did not want to go. But he didn’t stick a knife on his chest. He simply took note of it and pressed on. She said if that had been her she would’ve been distraught. That performance, she confessed, left a mark on her and influenced how she would perform from that moment forward: not afraid of the moment of a mistake.
His mistake was her blessing. It freed her from her desires to achieve perfection. It allows her to be present in her shows, rehearse the framework always, but give herself the freedom to mold the song as it may. “I don’t want to be the best singer in the world. I just want to do a good job.” And THAT she does!
Mistakes take a back seat to authenticity. Your audience will forgive you, forgive the mistake, as long as they feel your honesty. This is true for all of us,- in our personal and professional lives.
“I am sooooo… divinely imperfect.”
Lisa Fischer, to me, is clothed in authenticity and honesty. When you listen to her speak and when you watch and listen to her perform, the world makes sense. You know what I mean? It’s so honest, it’s so real, there’s no guessing.
She goes on to say some of the processes of embracing her imperfection are private, that she doesn’t want to go through them in front of the whole world.
Which takes me to this: we are the generation that knows living
in front of the whole world. Our ancestors didn’t know that. I do not believe for one second we were designed to be available to the whole world, and be every 7 (billion people in this world) one’s ANSWER. This is unrealistic, not to mention overwhelming. Our brain has a mechanism to deal with overwhelm. It will call the thyroid gland to produce more stress hormone in an effort to keep you safe and alive. We are not everyone’s answer. Your authenticity will serve those who are meant to be served by it. Your only responsibility is to be you.
I hope this has inspired you and I hope you take the time to watch/listen to my chat with Lisa. She is a VERY SPECIAL human being, one you want to hear from.
Week 2 of BRAVE challenge holds MORE GOODNESS! Check out our talk with Shae Lee Shackleford.
Happy Vulnerable Living,
FOLLOW LISA ON INSTAGRAM.
AND LOOK OUT FOR HER SHOWS NEAR YOU!
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